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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25208500">Baklava, Technically</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadlikeknives/pseuds/sadlikeknives'>sadlikeknives</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (2020 Movie)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Baklava, Gen, M/M, Walmart at 2 AM is a Liminal Space</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:55:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25208500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadlikeknives/pseuds/sadlikeknives</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mississippi has little to recommend it, as far as Joe is concerned, even in this, the year of Nicky's Lord two thousand and nineteen, but it does have this going for it: they find themselves in need of some things at two in the morning and they're able to walk into a Walmart in Corinth and buy them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andy | Andromache the Scythian/Baklava, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1121</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Baklava, Technically</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mississippi has little to recommend it, as far as Joe is concerned, even in this, the year of Nicky's Lord two thousand and nineteen, but it does have this going for it: they find themselves in need of some things at two in the morning and they're able to walk into a Walmart in Corinth and buy them, and here's the kicker: despite the fact that their shopping list includes both a shovel and Astroglide and they only realize while they're looking for the shovel that Nicky's shirt still has blood on it, nobody who's in a Walmart at two AM gives enough of a damn to look once, forget twice.  Joe detours to replace Nicky's shirt (he tosses a three-pack of crew neck black Hanes tees into the cart, boom, done) while Nicky himself veers off to the produce section because he's decided he wants a pack of those little tomatoes to snack on.  It's late November and tomatoes in winter, or what passes for it in Mississippi, still feel like a luxury, a novelty.</p><p>Nicky tracks Joe back down when he's just finally found the shovels, and he's got two things in his hands and the light of victory in his eyes.  Joe's concerned about what he could find in a Walmart to make him look like that even before he realizes what the package that's not tomatoes is.  He says, "No."</p><p>"She'll never guess it," Nicky argues, because what he is holding is, according to the packaging at least, baklava.</p><p>"She'll have to put it in her mouth, Nicolo."</p><p>They both look at the package of what passes for baklava in a Walmart in Mississippi.  Nicky says, clearly doubting himself even as the words leave his mouth, "It can't be that bad, can it?  It's still technically baklava."</p><p>"Is that chocolate drizzle?" Joe asks him, or possibly God.</p><p>Nicky squints at it.  "I don't think it's real chocolate."  Joe just looks at him.  He doesn't need to say anything.  Nicky's shoulders slump, and Joe feels guilty, but resolute.  "I'll put it back."</p><p>"Thank you," Joe tells him.  Nicky puts the tomatoes in the cart and goes to put the baklava back, and Joe's pulling out his phone to text Booker about the whole thing when he remembers.</p><p>Nile won't get it.  Not yet.  Not really.  Maybe in fifty years, or a hundred, around the time they get Booker back, but—Andy won't live another hundred years.  Probably not even fifty.</p><p>Joe breathes through it, his hands white-knuckled around the handle of the shopping cart for a moment, and then he goes to find Nicky to tell him to buy the damned baklava after all.  Andy might stab them over it, but at least it'll be funny.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This fic brought to you by the baklava I wasn't brave enough to buy from the Walmart bakery section.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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